Everything comes to an end. School, love, friendships, everything. Nothing lasts forever. Not the universe. Not our bodies. Nothing. One day we will crumble and break, and there's nothing we can do to stop it. As my high school career draws to an end, I cast my mind back to the years that have been leading up to this moment. I've been looking forward to graduation since day one of my freshman year. I despised going to school, not because I didn't enjoy learning, but because I didn't belong. What clique was right for me? In my smaller-than-average high school, I didn't have many choices. In fact, sometimes it seemed I had no choice whatever. Instead I decided to keep to myself. I buried my nose in books and got lost in thoughts of a more pleasant reality. I was lost. I drifted aimlessly from daydream to daydream, with no direction or purpose. I was a zombie, plodding along and not caring one bit.
I stopped caring; I had no friends. I was lonely. Numb. Anxious. The feeling of not belonging clung to me, like tiny droplets clinging to blades of grass. But I learned to cope. I dealt with it. I found refuge in words. I found comfort in nature. So long as I wasn't the target of taunts, I figured I could learn to live as a ghost floating through life. It wasn't until this year, after the worst was over, that I learned the true meaning of friendship.
I didn't know what a true friend was. I didn't know if I would ever meet a true friend, but I did. I met more than one.
I don't want to define other people's meaning of friendship, but I can define mine. Or at least I can take a crack at it.
A friend is someone who is willing to leave class with you, go outside, and dissipate your fears. A friend is the person who will laugh at your jokes, no matter how stupid or lame they are, and still pretend you're funny. A friend is someone whose silence is not at all awkward, but an unspoken understanding that you need some time to yourself. A friend is someone who takes delight in your success. A friend is someone who doesn't care what you wear. A friend will embrace your quirks. A friend won't ask you to do something you don't want to do. A friend is someone who won't push their beliefs on you. A friend won't laugh at your most embarrassing moments. A friend isn't self-centered. A friend will claim you're the best at what you do and mean it--even though you know otherwise. A friend is honest. A friend will motivate you. A friend will praise your accomplishments. A friend does not let jealousy fester her heart. A friend won't judge you. A friend is loyal. A friend will not stand by and witness your destruction. A friend is a reminder that not everything is bad. A friend does not hold grudges. A friend does not think meaningful conversations are a waste of time. A friend is patient. A friend keeps you sane. A friend will not put you down. A friend is a sort of therapist. A friend will always be there. A friend is a treasure, so cherish it.
I can count with one hand the number of people for whom I've been genuinely happy. I'm stubborn, nonconformist, and not easy to get along with. Those who have gotten to know me can attest to that. These people, however, have proved themselves loyal. They have been patient and accepting. They have been friendly and non-judgmental. And they've each earned a special place in my heart. I wish them the best of luck.
Unfortunately, our time together is coming to and end, and I regret not approaching them sooner.
I find comfort in knowing that, once we graduate, once we go our separate ways, the echo of our memories will linger on.
